At the time, the selections he was reading were from ZomBee Movie. It’s out of print now, which is just a damn shame. But, the books by Mark still abound. (Raising Demons for Fun and Profit made the cut as one of my ten favorites of 2009) And the styles Mark writes in are as unique as the man behind the legend. He writes poetry (like his poetic biography of each of the organs that made up Frankenstein’s Monster…no joke). He writes novels and novellas (like the aforementioned “Raising Demons…). And, the man writes consistent vintage horror trivia across the Internets.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that Mark McLaughlin is a rare genius and should be embraced. That, and I guess I’m admitting to having a bit of a bromance with the man. But, if you had to embrace a bromantic relationship, who better than Mark?
Besides being the acclaimed writer that he is, Mark also excels at readings. His readings are animated, employ perfect comic timing, and I wish I could conduct a reading at that velocity.
For fans of his on facebook (of which the man has many), he keeps it fresh. There’s the aforementioned trivia, and there’s the occasional appearance by “evil Mark”, an evil djinn version of the Mark McLaughlin we know and love.
I implore you all to pick up a Mark McLaughlin book. Please, please, please, don’t look at it as a waste of money. There’s nobody out there doing what Mark does. It’s a truly unique spin on everything from Lovecraftian beasties to relationships. Plus, for those that don’t go for horror, McLaughlin’s work will keep it lighthearted and fun, as opposed to gratuitous in gore and violence.
If nothing else, friend him on facebook. You won’t regret that. Plus you’ll get a chance to match wits with his massive knowledge of films.
I’ve wanted to interview Mark for a time, and finally got the opportunity to. We chat everything from that Frankenstein poem to evil djinn Mark.
Eric Mays: Thanks for answering some questions, Mark. Let me just get this out of the way from the get-go: Are men from Hell? And if that’s true, do women most definitely come from the Galaxy of Death?
Mark McLaughlin: No doubt you are referring to a 2004 poetry collection of mine entitled “Men are from Hell, Women are from the Galaxy of Death,” and I must say, you are a clever lad. You’ve come to realize that the collection was, in fact, a shocking compilation of actual events – in free-verse form!
Yes, men ARE from Hell and women ARE from the Galaxy of Death. Millennia ago, male pioneers from Hell came up to the Earth’s surface just as an exploratory team of female astronauts from the Galaxy of Death were landing in the starship Aphrodite. They soon figured out the whole Tab-A-goes-into-Slot-B scenario and the rest is history.
Scientists often ask me: Mark, how did men and women reproduce before the two sexes discovered each other? And of course the obvious answer is: Very carefully.
EM: Congrats on making the final ballot for the Bram Stoker Award for your first novel “Monster Behind the Wheel”, co-written with Michael McCarty. I love your work, and am always happy to see it get recognized.
MM: The funny thing is, I’ve had so many books out over the years, people couldn’t believe “Monster Behind the Wheel” was my first novel. But, all the other books were either story or poetry collections. Mike and I are now working on a whole batch of novels, so watch out, world, more on the on the way!
EM: I’ve completely lost count, Mark. How many books do you have out there? Seriously, it feels like you’ve written a veritable library of books. I’m partial to “ZOM BEE MOO VEE & Other Freaky Shows”, but what’s your personal fave?
MM: I’m supposed to keep track?! Does the oak tree count its acorns? Does the night sky count its stars? Did the Marquis de Sade ever count how many peasants he’d whipped? No, no, and maybe!
But seriously, here’s a list of my twenty-two books so far. Many (especially the more recent ones) are still available at www.Horror-Mall.com. I’m not counting a few very small chapbooks that were released over the years. Some of the items below are chapbooks, but they had plenty of stories or poems in them.
2. ZOM BEE MOO VEE & Other Freaky Shows, Fairwood Press, 1999
3. I Gave at the Orifice, Eraserhead Press, 2000
4. Shoggoth Cacciatore and Other Eldritch Entrees, Delirium Books, 2000
5. The Gossamer Eye (with Rain Graves and David Niall Wilson), Meisha Merlin, 2002 (Bram Stoker Award winner)
6. Hell Is Where the Heart Is, Medium Rare Books, 2003
7. Once Upon a Slime, Catalyst Press, 2003
8. Professor LaGungo’s Exotic Artifacts & Assorted Mystic Collectibles, Flesh & Blood Press, 2003 (Bram Stoker Award finalist)
9. Men are from Hell, Women are from the Galaxy of Death, Kelp Queen Press, 2004 (Bram Stoker Award finalist)
10. Motivational Shrieker, Delirium Books, 2004
11. At the Foothills of Frenzy & Other Freakish Forays (with Shane Ryan Staley and Brian Knight), Solitude Publications, 2005
12. Right House on the Left (with Steve Vernon and L.L. Soares), Novello Publishers, 2005
13. Slime After Slime, Delirium Books, 2005
14. All Things Dark & Hideous, Rainfall Books, 2007
15. Pickman’s Motel, Delirium Books, 2007
16. Monster Behind the Wheel (with Michael McCarty), Corrosion Press, 2008 (Bram Stoker Award finalist)
17. Phantasmapedia, Dead Letter Press, 2008 (Bram Stoker Award finalist)
18. Attack of the Two-Headed Poetry Monster, Skullvines Press, 2008 (Bram Stoker Award finalist)
19. Professor LaGungo’s Delirious Download of Digital Deviltry & Doom (with Michael McCarty), Delirium Books/Darkside Digital, 2009
20. Raising Demons for Fun and Profit, Sam’s Dot Publishing, 2009
21. Twisted Tales for Sick Puppies, Skullvines Press, 2009
22. Professor LaGungo’s Classroom of Horrors (with Michael McCarty), Bucket O' Guts Press, 2010 (forthcoming)
Which one is my favorite, you ask…? Like any good parent, I love all my fiction-babies equally!
MM: Life is filled with occurrences that can be seen as horrific, comedic or poetically inspiring – or any combination of the three! And these are the events we will remember the most: the ones that make us scream, laugh or experience love or even awe.
We all have Horror, Comedy and Poetry inside of us. We all have a skull – the very symbol of Horror! A skull is a grisly, ghastly thing – but see how it grins at the twin Comedies of life and death. And that strange, lurid, bony container holds the greatest miracle on our planet: the human brain, the very thing that creates and appreciates Poetry.
EM: Sticking with the poetry theme, in “The Gossamer Eye”, you wrote a series of poems from the points of view of the organs that went into Frankenstein’s Monster. What was it about their story that needed to be told? And, why in poetry?
MM: Ah, you are talking about “Speaking Parts: Frankenstein’s Monster Restitched as a Body of Verse.” A lot of people went into the making of the Monster – literally! – and I felt that their stories needed to be told. They had all been ignored by Hollywood, which had only ever presented the story of the Monster after its creation.
Who provided the Monster with his eyes? His fingers? His brain? Who had to die so that the Monster could live? The world didn’t know – and didn’t care. How ignominious! I felt that I had to right that great wrong – and in a creative form that gave all those involuntary donors a bit of dignity.
EM: Looking back in time, there have been numerous classic horror authors (Poe, Lovecraft, Jackson), but rarely have you seen someone who excels at both horror and comedy, as you do. Who are you influenced by, Mark?
MM: My friends have always been a big influence – I’ve had a lot of strange, wonderful friends over the years. And by ‘strange’ I don’t mean ‘bad’: people often don’t realize that ‘strange’ can be good!
You see, ‘strange’ can mean ‘unfamiliar’ … and that which is unfamiliar can be a little frightening. But ‘strange’ can also mean ‘unique’ or ‘singular’ or ‘extraordinary’ … and I think we can all agree, one can learn a lot from unique, singular, and extraordinary individuals, because they offer fresh and challenging viewpoints.
Addressing your question from the standpoint of literature, my favorite authors would be Oscar Wilde, H.P. Lovecraft, M.R. James, Robert Aickman, and William Beckford, who wrote Vathek, a sumptuous old Arabian Nights-style tale. And I might add, I’ve read a lot about the lives of those folks, and they were all strange individuals. Marvelously strange.
I also enjoy tales from Greek mythology and the myths and legends of other countries, too. But see, I also like reading nonfiction about science and the universe – and tabloids! The tabloids are endlessly amusing. Do I really care about the private lives of Paris Hilton or Sandra Bullock or Charlie Sheen or Lady Gaga? Or course not – they don’t pay my bills! But it tickles me that all those rabid reporters and paparazzi feel the need to follow those folks around.
Basically, I like to read all sorts of stuff. I just pop lots of esoteric knowledge into the high-speed blender I call my brain and then hit the PUREE button.
EM: I met you at the very first Horrorfind Convention (at the BWI Marriott in Baltimore, August 2001). You make the convention rounds, and I’d go so far as to say that you’re a classic and fan fave. What is your most memorable fan moment and is there anything that you’d like fans to stop doing (or, on the opposite, something you want your fans to do more of? Like, bring you gyros.)?
MM: God bless you for those compliments! You have me blushing like a debutante in an NFL locker room.
My most memorable fan moment was when I received a great email about my book “ZOM BEE MOO VEE” from a real-life expert on all things zombie – Kyra Schon, who played the little-girl zombie in the original Night of the Living Dead. Kyra and I became friends and in fact, we wrote a story together, “Arlene Schabowski of the Undead,” that appeared in “Midnight Premiere” – an anthology from Cemetery Dance Publications.
As for your other question: Fans don’t give me enough – or in fact, ANY – real estate. What am I, chopped liver? Haaaarumph! Also, fans need to bring me more diamonds as big as baseballs. Heck, I’d settle for just one. Just ONE teeny diamond as big as a baseball. Is that too much to ask?
EM: On a more personal side, you maintain a strong following online. You’ve got many a fan. How do you balance your writing, your day job, and your fan interaction?
MM: Discipline. I maintain and stick to a regular To-Do List. I organize everything I need to do, every day of every week of every year. Do I get everything done on time? Not always! There are only so many hours in the day. But I always give it my very best shot.
EM: Every so often, Mark, your evil Mark djinn takes over on your Facebook page. First, how do you get your own evil djinn, and second, why can’t you keep him bottled up?MM: The evil djinn spells his name with a silent h: Markh. Oh, he’s the very devil! Markh lovingly lingers over the tabloids that I occasionally read, per an earlier question of yours, so he always wants to know people’s deep, dark secrets.
I got him at a yard sale behind one of the pyramids. It wasn’t one of the Great Pyramids – it was more of a Not-So-Great Pyramid. Markh, who looks like me except has blue smoke for a body, keeps tricking me into opening his bottle. Like, he’ll knock on the inside of his bottle and shout, “Pizza guy!” So, I’ll open the bottle, thinking it’s the pizza delivery guy – and out pops Markh!
Fortunately, I can always recapture him by sucking him up with a Dust Buster.
EM: You’re a fan of classic camp horror movies (no surprise that you like them!). What are some of your favorites that people have never seen?
MM: More people definitely need to watch:
Torture Garden, which features Burgess Meredith as the Devil…
Horror Hospital, with its insidious decapitating limousine…
The Abominable Dr. Phibes and Dr. Phibes Rises Again, starring Vincent Price, who doesn’t open his mouth once during either movie (Dr. Phibes talks through a tube in his neck)…
Demonia, with its wacky Satanic nuns. I guess they got into the HABIT of worshipping the Devil. Har dee har harrrr! …
The Dunwich Horror, in which the virginal Sandra Dee gets boinked by a Lovecraft character…
The Blood Beast Terror, which features a human-sized vampire moth…
Bloody Pit of Horror for its ridiculous killer spider, which is as big as a house-cat …
And The Devil’s Rain, in which John Travolta played Danny, a zombie with wax for blood – his first movie gig. Incredibly, that performance was completely overlooked by the folks who hand out the Oscars. Truly, there is no justice in the world.
EM: I’m just guessing here, but I would imagine that you’ve seen some of the SyFy original pictures. SyFy execs are reading – pitch them the best original idea they’ve ever read!
MM: I think you will agree, they need to turn my story “ZOM BEE MOO VEE” into a movie. Necrilda Voltaire, the exquisitely beautiful zombie who drinks the blood of her victims through a silver straw, would be a real fan favorite ... the fans would eat her up, and vice versa! It would make an excellent starring role for Courtney Love or Lindsay Lohan.
Eric, I see you in the role of Chad, one of the millionaire playboys in that story. I will take on the role of Shambling Zombie No. 47 – I’m sure Leonardo DiCaprio would love to play that part, but I’m the author, so he will just have to learn to live with disappointment.
You know, this whole idea may be too GOOD for SyFy: it has “Hollywood Box Office Gold!” written all over it. I may have to pitch it to MGM!
EM: Now I’m blushing like that debutante. Now, the obligatory question…what’s next for you?
And, I’m always working on new installments of my two columns about horror movies. One is “Four-Letter Word Beginning with ‘F’” (the operative word being Fear) in the Features Sections of http://www.horrorgarage.com/, and the other is “Time Machine of Terror!” at http://www.gravesidetales.com/ . Plus, I’m always making amusing animations and putting them in my online gallery of weirdness at www.youtube.com/mcmonsterbook.
EM: Sounds like you keep busy! Thanks for talking with me today!
MM: And thanks for asking me! It was a pleasure to talk with you and your readers.
Mark is truly a talent. When you get a moment, move on over to http://www.horror-mall.com/. And, if you ever get a chance to see Mark read in person, please do it. It's worth the the viewing. I'll still maintain that I've never seen somebody read the way he does.
The festivities continue tomorrow with "The Stinky". Jason Wuchenich joins us and talks his tales "Stinky Incubus" and "Skank Clusters". Now, I want to address an email I received. This week is entitled "The Good, the Funny, and the Stinky of Horror". It does in no way imply that Jason and Mark are not good, nor are Jason and Michael not funny. This title was a silly attempt at spinning a pop-culture title to my own wants and desires. As has been stated numerous times over, I find every writer I interview good. And, if it's not my cup of tea, I still have much respect as they're writing and published and cranking out the goods.
So, I'm on record right now saying this: Michael, Mark, Jason...you're all pretty.
Join us tomorrow for "The Stinky". It may have been one of the most fun interviews I've done. I seriously snorted numerous times. I'm not sure how it happened, but we got onto a scatological tangent and just couldn't get off of it. If you're easily offended by poo, you may want to avoid it. Until then, keep reading.
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