The Author Speaks: Bill Fitzhugh

I adore Bill Fitzhugh’s writing. And I miss it. I re-read one Fitzhugh book per year. Last year, I re-read “The Organ Grinders”. Year before it was “Heart Seizure”. The man hasn’t put out a book in a spell, rather turning his attentions to an amazing Sirius-XM Satellite Radio show where he hand-mixes vinyl. You can read all about it here – including press releases, set lists, air dates, etc. - at his website http://www.billfitzhugh.com/

But imagine my surprise! Here’s an author that I’ve adored since 1997, an author that was continually in the same grouping as Christopher Moore, Kinky Friedman, and Joe Lansdale, an author that was noted for humor, satire, and general funny commentary on life…and now, they’re going to mix vinyl?


Well, sad as I am that I’ll have to wait a Georgia minute (shorter than an Arkansas minute but nearly three times as long as a New York minute) for another Fitzhugh yarn, I’ve got to tell you, tune in to the Hand Mixed Vinyl broadcast. I come out of it feeling a little smarter. Plus I get to hear music I’ve not heard in a long time (if ever) and I’m one of the few that still subscribes vinyl sounds better than digital.


Bill Fitzhugh emerged onto the scene in 1997 with his debut novel Pest Control.  The comedy of errors, involving one New York exterminator named Bob Dillon, was even selected as one of Amazon’s top 50 mysteries of that year. If you’ve read it, it’s no surprise that this guy was going to have a future.

He followed his success with Organ Grinders, an oftentimes funnier and darker novel that revolved around the world of eco-terrorism and the “business” of the organ trade. Another theme here was a (not-so-subtle) nod to the music profession by naming the protagonist Paul Symon.


Next up, Bill turned his attention to the Catholic church, and wrote the first book to feature product placement. Cross Dressing dealt with mistaken identities, insurance fraud, and offered plenty of belly-laughs. It was rapidly followed by Fender Benders which reads like a caricaturized country tune – man makes the big time, loses big time, and comes back around, all battered and deep fried. Bill even says that the book, once named “Gashville”, owed its “Fender Benders” title to author Tim Sandlin. “Fender Benders” was a chance for Bill to indulge his musical love. And he does.

After tackling the government (and healthcare, before it was en vogue to do so) with “Heart Seizures”, Bill began a series featuring DJ Rick Shannon. Radio Activity and Highway 61 Resurfaced: A Novel took place in Bill Fitzhugh’s home state of Mississippi (whose minutes are longer than both a Georgia minute and an Arkansas minute) where local celebrities include beauty queens, like Miss Tire & Auto Parts. It was with Rick Shannon, though, that I felt Bill was heading towards his true calling. His protagonist spins vinyl oldies, but not clichés. Rick Shannon spins the stuff that you really want to hear and does so in a method that tells a story. Music, Mississippi, and Murder are what the Rick Shannon mysteries are all about.


After Rick Shannon, Bill contributed to a Young Adult Poker anthology called “Full House” (not to be mistaken with the Olsen twins sitcom from the 80’s and early 90’s) and co-wrote a book with country legends Brooks & Dunn, The Adventures of Slim & Howdy: A Novel

In 2008 it all came back to Bill’s first effort – “Pest Control”. “Pest Control” was turned into a musical in the L.A. theatre scene. Stage Scene L.A. said of the production: "Pest Control: The Musical may well be the most visually and technically spectacular musical ever staged in a 99-seat L.A. area theater.” The show closed its run in June 2008.


I had the pleasure to pick the brain of Bill Fitzhugh about the musical adaptation of his work, as well as the music he loves so dear. I also had the chance to get his take on both the publishing and music industries, since he’s got a foot in both worlds. Too, we addressed if my longing for a new Fitzhugh book would be sated.

Eric Mays: Bill, you’ve written some amazing books and music always seems to play a fairly prominent role, whether it’s naming the protagonists after famous music icons, or weaving the untold stories of certain songs, or writing a book with a couple of musicians. Seems reading and listening to music can be an odd combination. Why do you integrate the musical world into your writing?


Bill Fitzhugh: Actually, I’m more of a music fan than a book fan. I've listened to music all my life with far greater interest. The right music tends to have a much stronger emotional appeal to me than the right book. That's not to say I don't like books, both reading and writing them. But the right chord changes coupled with the right words can carry me places no book ever has. And I'm far more verbal than mathematical (which is how I think of music) so whereas I can write with some facility, I can't play an instrument any more complicated than the cowbell. So I go with my strength, words. And since I have this fairly vast store of musical/lyrical info, I tend to draw on it.

 EM: I love the Rick Shannon mysteries (“Radio Activity” and “Highway 61”) and wish there were more of them. One thing that stands out in those books is the way Rick Shannon DJ’s. He links songs together that share a common back history. Did you do a lot of research on these musical factoids, or have you long been engrained to this knowledge?

BF: Some of both. The easy ones are the 'theme' sets. Songs about rain or sun or people, etc. There are other kinds of sets I call six-degrees-of separation sets where you have an artist being produced by a guy who played in another band with a different artist who wrote a song made famous by another artist who is the former lover of another artist, etc. Some of that I know, some I research. The hardest ones (and I'm talking about the sets I do on Deep Tracks) are the very complicated segue sets where I take, for example, an eight minute track by McKenzee Spring that has several movements and tempo changes but that revolves around the lead instrument -- in this case the electric violin. Then I have to find a batch of songs that I can segue in and out of, all of which have to use electric violin. Now I know where to look for the electric violin in the rock music library (Papa John Creech playing with Jefferson Airplane and Hot Tuna; David LaFlame with It's a Beautiful Day, Jean Luc Ponty by himself or with Zappa, etc), but I still have to find the right songs that make the best transitions.

 EM: Is that partly what prompted your all hand-mixed vinyl on XM and Sirius?

BF: The show happened after the late, great George Taylor Morris (former PD of Deep Tracks) read Radio Activity and thought it was the best book he'd ever read about FM rock radio. We got to talking. I had an idea about a show. He asked for a sample. I sent it to him. Next thing I knew I was on the air. Been doing it for five years now...

EM: Sticking with the musical theme, what was it like working with Brooks and Dunn on the Southern-fried fun read “The Adventures of Slim and Howdy”?

BF: It was great, though there really wasn't much working 'with' them. They read Fender Benders and figured I knew what I was doing. I wrote a proposal. They loved it. So I just wrote the book and sent it to them chapter by chapter and they just wrote back to say, "What happens next?" One of the best 'co-writing' experiences I've had.

 EM: I’m sure, with your love of music, it had to be a dream come true to follow in the footsteps of Victor Hugo, T.S. Eliot, and Gregory Maguire and have your book, “Pest Control” turned into a musical! How was that experience for you as a writer?

BF: Well, first of all I dare say mine was the only one to win the Los Angeles area theater Ovation Award for Best Costume for the great cockroach costumes (there's a photo somewhere on my website...) I loved the show. It had many of the basic elements of the book's plot but several major deviations, not the least of which were the 28 or so songs (a list of which is somewhere on my website...). I wish it was still running. But the producer did renew the option so I assume he's still developing it for NY which is his goal.

(Bill Fitzhugh with a Cockroach from "Pest Control: The Musical" )

EM: Are we going to see “The Organ Grinders: the Musical” next?

BF: Funny you mention that...The late, great Leonard Gershe (author of "Butterflies Are Free" among other things) was a friend of mine in his later years and he read Organ Grinders and one day we exchanged a series of emails about making it into a musical, featuring songs like "Love is just around the cornea" and "I left my heart, and several other organs, in San Francisco..." I recently wrote a one hour tv drama pilot for the story, but it's wildly different from the book's story. In fact the only thing that's the same is that it's set in the world of organ transplants.

EM: It’s interesting, did you ever think that “Pest Control” would see stage lights? Film, sure. It just seems that “Fender Benders” lends itself more to the musical slant.

BF: NEVER in my life did it cross my mind that any of my books would end up on stage in any form, let alone a musical, double let alone Pest Control. Still, it makes as much sense as Little Shop of Horrors. After seeing the show six times, the director asked if any of my other books would adapt to musical. So I took a shot at doing it with Highway 61 Resurfaced. I've got a good start on it but it needs to be cut a LOT and I need more songs than the few written by my friend J. Fred Knobloch. And I'm too busy on other things to work on it now. Plus the development of a musical sounds like a monster I don't want to fight.

EM: I love the story of “Pest Control”. You and Matt Hanson had the idea for this complete comedy of errors and wrote the screenplay “Pest Control”, right? And then it just sort of sat. Authors face that sort of discouragement every day. But it wasn’t until you turned it into a novel that it got a pulse again. How difficult was that conversion process?

BF: The screenplay was optioned once for $4,000. It went nowhere. Every studio in Hollywood read it and rejected it. It really wasn't a particularly well written script. What was good was the underlying idea. Adapting it to a novel was fun and relatively easy. But then there was plenty of discouragement to follow. 127 agents declined to represent me. All the publishers who read it passed. Then a NY book scout with Warner Brothers read it, loved it, sent it to her boss in L.A. and the deal was done. The book really read like a movie (whereas the original screenplay obviously didn't).


EM: Looking ahead, it seems that the music industry and the book business are facing interesting crossroads, what with the Kindle and Nook, and iTunes and digital downloading. As a writer and a DJ, what’s your take on where we’re headed? Is there still a future for aspiring writers and musicians?


BF: Well the music business is in total flux. I'd say the publishing business is in half flux. Whereas the old model of the music business is already dead for the most part (the big record companies that once controlled distribution no longer do so, that's been defeated by digitization; and radio, which used to help sell records, was so whored out to Clear Channel, et al, that it can no longer be counted on to break records or artists because nobody listens to it any more). But digitization is having a different impact on the publishing business. People can still buy physical books; there are still book stores and I believe there will be for the foreseeable future. (Compare that to music's physical equivalent: the CD. Most of the record stores are gone. You can still get a CD here and there, but mostly online, and it's just a matter of time before it will be extremely hard to find them). Kindle etc., simply offers a different way to consume a book, in much the same way that audio books was just another way for people to consume what writers produce. One of the things that bothers me about what's going on in publishing has nothing to do with digitization. The 'branding' of authors that allows eight other people to write books under the brand name, I think, is not a good thing. Though at the same time, at least those eight writers are working.


EM: Finally, some years back you submitted an “audition” script for the Monty Python and the Holy Grail PC Game, correct? Eric Idle was the one who produced and wrote it (bastard that he is). I’ve read your script and find it hilarious. I’d love to know more of the story as to how a comedic, bestselling mystery writer was asked to write for a British comedy game.


BF: That was so long ago I'm not sure I remember. I think what happened was that my wife was working for a company that was doing game testing. We went to a convention and I came across some Monty Python computer game and got talking with the rep of the company that produced it. When he found out who I was he asked if I'd be interested in writing the Holy Grail game. I jumped at the chance but alas.

EM: So what’s next for Mr. Fitzhugh?

BF: Looks like I'll finally be digitized as Harper Collins recently started negotiations to put the books on Kindle etc. (I guess etc., I don't know how many platforms they put books on). Hoping to get The Organ Grinders into development as a TV series, a la Dexter. Working on deal to publish the sequel to Pest Control. A book called The Exterminators. And I'm still producing All Hand Mixed Vinyl. Plus yard work.

Bill Fitzhugh’s work is absolutely amazing. Christopher Moore once said, of Bill’s first novel Pest Control, “it reads like a movie – but that’s not a bad thing.” As the warm weather approaches definitely stop by your local library and pick up a copy of one of his books. I guarantee that you’ll be back for more.

If you’re interested in reading Bill’s “audition” script for the Monty Python PC game (that’s PC as in Personal Computer, no PC as in Politically Correct), you can sneak a peek here: http://www.billfitzhugh.com/knights.html

If you’re interested in learning more about Bill’s books visit his website: http://www.billfitzhugh.com/

Next week, we keep the funny rolling. Author Kevin Shamel will join us. His book Rotten Little Animals has been taking the bizarro scene by storm! He’ll join us to talk the true intentions of animals, E.B. White’s dark side, and inappropriate things to do with puppets. Stay tuned.

Zombies Are So Hot Right Now!

Let me guess, you've got an original zombie story and you're just waiting on the right publisher.  What's that?  You say yours is something that's different from all the other zombie fiction out there?  Zombie musical?  Seen it.  Zombies in space?  Been there, done that.  Fast zombies?  Slow zombies?  Clown zombies?  Zombie sharks - got the tee shirt, the hat, the whole bag.  
Your zombie fiction may be good, but your story sure isn't original.  Zombies have been done.  So no matter how good you think your work is, it's certainly NOT original.

Author Matthew Revert examines the zombie trend taking the world faster than H1N1.

Zombies Are So Hot Right Now!
By Matthew Revert

There’s something about zombies that capture the minds of horror lovers everywhere. What isn’t there to love about hoards of the undead returning to wreak gory havoc upon the masses in a visceral spray of allegory? There’s also an aesthetic appeal to the decay they wear so well. On top of this, there are enough films and books dedicated to these goofy guys to keep the fans going for multitudinous lifetimes. Despite this, we can expect plenty more. They’re ubiquitous like iPhones.

So why is it that zombies maintain such popularity? In the annals of archetypal horror nasties, you have to admit, they’re a pretty pathetic menace. I’m weary of anything that relies on sheer numbers to become truly effective. It suggests a certain lack of personal responsibility that really won’t get them anywhere in unlife. You’ll notice that at this point, I’m still attributing zombies with some power, even if it is the regrettable ‘numbers’ kind. Allow me to try and dispel that.

The mythos suggests that a dreaded zombie bite will turn the victim into a zombie (this is usually preceded by a poorly employed existential crisis on the part of the bitten). Let’s say that a zombie bite does possess this side-effect. The question still remains, how the hell did the victim get bitten in the first place? Rigor mortis isn’t the most forgiving of symptoms experienced by the dead. The traditional zombie (which I’d argue is still the most popularly portrayed zombie) is slower than Devin Tha Dude’s flow. A fart-propelled rocket pack would enable you to outpace one. An elderly lady recovering from a poorly performed hip-replacement would lap one several times on a traditional Olympic circuit.

Okay, I won’t deny that a zombie might get to you – you may be sleeping off a drug binge after all. In this scenario, I’d ask that you still apply the laws of rigor mortis to the situation. Have you ever tried moving the jaw of a corpse? It’s locked in pretty tight isn’t it? Now I’d ask that you take a short break and fetch some food, preferably something meaty with skin. I’ll wait…


…Okay, I’m assuming you have your food (extra points if you’re about to eat Angela Lansbury). Take a bite and pay careful attention to the intricate jaw movements you’re performing. Notice how these movements allow you to tear and masticate? Imagine performing these movements while riddled with rigor mortis? Do you think you could break wet spaghetti let alone the thick layers of dermis that kindly cover us? A zombie bite wouldn’t even hurt the feelings of an Emo. Given that the bite has to infect the bloodstream, it’s terribly unlikely you’ll find yourself felled by a zombie-induced undeath. Statistically, the odd person may be unfortunate enough to fall victim but hey, people also die from frozen spears of plane-dropped urine (or so I’m led to believe).


So the only thing a zombie really has going for it is sheer numbers and this would make them more annoying than deadly. The hoards would perhaps slow you down a little, making your day-to-day drudgery more unpleasant – perhaps it would even affect the economy but it wouldn’t act as a genuine risk to your life. In my opinion, the most unsavory aspect of a zombie ‘attack’ would be the smell. The constant reminder of our mortality would likely get depressing after a while too.


So zombies are the daddy long legs of the monster world. They look unpleasant but can’t really hurt you (much like Sarah Jessica Parker). I’ll be the first to admit that if I saw a corpse rise from the ground and start moving of its own volition, I’d be unnerved and probably walk in the opposite direction. As time crept on though, the sight of zombies would severely minimize any associated fear. We humans grow accustomed to things easily and this, I have no doubt, includes the undead. Let’s face it, most humans are pretty pathetic when they’re alive, what makes us think they’ll be any less pathetic as zombies?

In the time it took me to write this article, I estimate that over 10,000 zombie films and books were released. The cultural fascinating with these daffy bastards will ensure that most of them do quite well. Of these 10,000, a large percentage will take some whacky, post-modern twist on the myth. Stale ideas somehow seem a little fresher when combined with a random twist (maybe with the exception of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. That was a perfect example of combining two stale ideas together to make something monumentally boring). When it comes to hammering home scathing social commentary, what could be better than zombies? Nothing. When it comes to relentless, guilt-free gore, what could be better than maiming a zombie? Nothing. When it comes to dynamic, original ideas, what could be better than zombies? Pretty much everything.


So if my article has a point, it is this – please, write your zombie story. There’s a high chance it will be entertaining and there’s a built-in fan base that will lap it up, just don’t fool yourself into thinking its original. Not everything has to be original. Many of the most successful books contain about as much originality as an episode of Two and Half Men. The flip side is also true; don’t fool yourself into thinking that something is great just because it’s original. It’s all about what you, as a writer, believe completely in. If that happens to be a zombie story, so be it. They may be one of the more ill-conceived creatures of all-time but it doesn’t matter - zombies are so hot right now.


Matthew Revert is the author of A Million Versions of Right, which just made the preliminary list for the Wonderland Book Awards.  His book   "The Tumors Made Me Interesting" is forthcoming in 2010.  He lives in Australia and is still struggling to get one abdominal crunch done. 

The Spotlight: Jess Gulbranson

From time to time, we'll feature a new voice - an author releasing their first book onto the scene - in literature.  We, at The Authors Speak, want to steer you, the readers, towards hot new talent.  If you're an author getting your voice out there for the first time, let us know.  ericm@witty.com.

Jess Gulbranson is one of those people you may just love to hate.  He's a musical geek, and will probably kick your butt in Rock n' Roll Jeopardy, he's got more friends than some on facebook (if that matters), and he's just released his first book - 10 A BOOT STOMPING 20 A HUMAN FACE 30 GOTO 10.  And it's good.  Expect a review upcoming.  To talk to him you realize he's one of those intellectuals; he uses big words, can talk circles around you, and can make you feel just a little less bright.  This isn't a bad thing.  Normally, I'd find it annoying, but Jess is so supportive and passionate that you've just got to take a step back and recognize him as one of the good guys. 
I've had the pleasure of getting to know Jess through various outlets online.  We chat about the book, autism, Australians, and one of the coolest book promotions I've heard about in a while.  I took some time to get to know a little about the man behind the oddly (but aptly) named book in this edition of "The Spotlight".


Eric Mays: I like to head straight for the jugular, Jess, and ask the hard questions.  Especially of an author who has "boot stomping" in the title of their book.  So, here goes: Are you a sick man?

Jess Gulbranson: Well, Eric, I am sick.  I'm dying.  Slowly.  You too.  I assume you mean mentally, though.  Can't help you there.  I'm ridiculously sane and well-adjusted.  I don't go in for a lot of the bizarro peepee poopoo fuckyfucky either.

EM: Jess, "10 A BOOT STOMPING 20 A HUMAN FACE 30 GOTO 10" is your first book, correct?  How's the experience thus far?
JG: My first "real" book.  My novel "Mel" was serialized over four years on a local arts and culture e-zine.  But that's the "intraweb", so it doesn't count.  I actually have another novel, "Antipaladin Blues", which is due to be published by Evil Nerd Empire.  It's sort of in post production hell right now.  All the major players involved in that book seem to be suffering under some sort of curse on their personal lives, myself included.  It should come out later in the Spring.  Note that I avoided your actual question.  My head is spinning.

EM: You're published through LegumeMan books out of Australia.  You're not Australian, though, if I'm not mistaken.  How'd an American kid like you get in cahoots with these Aussies?
JG: Same way my other novel got picked up.  I answered a submissions call on the forum.  I wrote this book for the 3-Day Novel Contest and they sent the manuscript to Matt Revert [author of A Million Versions of Right], but had to say "You need to sit on this until I win".  Which I didn't.  But they loved it and decided to publish it.  And you're right, I am American.  I live in Portland, which for those that don't know is pretty much bizarro ground zero.

EM: There's a pretty kick-ass promotion going on for this thing...or so I've heard.  I seem to remember it being something of a scavenger hunt, right?
JG: Yeah.  One where you have to buy the book.  It will test your knowledge of obscure musical trivia, or perhaps rather you ability to enter letters into a Google search box.  The first promotion - a preorder special - went great, and I'm recording a soundtrack album for the preorder victims...I mean, early supporters.  The current contest is awesome.  You can win the LegumeMan back catalog or a copy of "Archelon Ranch".  Just go to their website: http://www.legumeman.com/.


EM: Awesome.  Okay, let's move on to the book, Jess.  "10 A BOOT STOMPING 20 A HUMAN FACE 30 GOTO 10" seems like a rather odd title, to be sure.  If I ask you to explain it to me, "it's just as easy to retort, "Well you have to buy the book to figure it out!"  So, let's get people to buy this sucker.  But in the interim, how's you come up with the title?
JG: Well, there are two jokes in it, depending on what kind of nerd you are.  That is a writing quirk of mine.  I gave the book that title before it meant anything.  The same goes for the way I write songs - I'll just have a scrap of rhythm or a hook, then give it some esoteric title.  I find that doing that gives ideas a little more presence than just being a nameless scrap.  That sort of formless identity helps shape it as it goes along.

EM: So, we'll have to buy the book to figure it out?  Joking.  The book's protagonist is a bit of a loser.  People tend to get behind characters they can cheer for, and seem less inclined to show support and love for the hapless ones.  Is this your way of saying that everyone is a loser?
JG: It's unfortunate that people are picking up on him as a loser.  He's really no more a loser than any random college student is at any given point.  Though, he certainly a very passive character.  Without spoiling too much, there was a pretty concrete subtext about the nature of autism there.  I have some strong - to the point of intolerant - opinions and quesions about the whole concept of it.  I dealt with that intolerance in two ways.  One was shooting my author surrogate in the face; the other was including autistic characters and themes without going the doing the glurgy bestseller thing.  I hope that autists and their families can read this book knowing that it's not exploiting them or patronizing them. 

EM: You toy with some depth, Jess.  You're playing with metaphysics and philosophy like some people play with Silly Puddy.  What sort of life philosophy do you employ in everyday living?
JG: I don't toy with it, son.  It toys with me.  Was that hokey enough?  My brain is...well, ix nay on the otten ray.  This is the age of the feulleton and you have to become bricoleur to survive if you're not an actual genius.  So it goes.  I am a Zen Buddhist, mainly a follower of Rinzai school, and that is complemented well by my adherence to a Frankfurt school style of critical philosophy.  You know, Adomo minus the Marxism horseshit.  The world we live in is saturated with ideas and ideas-about-ideas, so having a life philosophy that's capable of metacognition or metaethics is the way to go.  It's not easy or simple.  There is no god to judge your acts.  Just you.  So if I'm too much of a vindicative asshole, then who do I have to answer to?  A vindicative asshole.  Look out!

EM: What's next in the pipeline?
JG: Trying to get some short fiction taken care of.  I'm doing some set-up on a pulp adventure/cheesy martial arts book tentatively titled "1000 Points of Death".  Then maybe a sequel to "Stomping", which anyone who's read it is now scratching their heads at the idea of a sequel.  Also, I'm going to start holding an unlit pipe in my mouth for effect.

EM: If you could re-write any one book and have full liberty to change pacing, style, etc, while keeping the story's core, which book would you toy with and why?
JG: "Foucault's Pendulum".  The ending, man.  C'mon!

EM: And, finally if you could co-write a book with anyone (famous or not, dead or alive) who would it be?
JG: Gene Wolfe.  He wrote what is definitely one of the best books EVER WRITTEN.  "The Shadows of the Torturer".  It's hard to imagine what it must have taken to write that book and the rest of the tetralogy.  It's like he built a moon rocket out of crap from an antique store, flew there, and brought back some green-skinned space babes.  Years later people are still trying to push their jaws back up.  I want some of that action!

Jess Gulbranson's book "10 A BOOT STOMPING 20 A HUMAN FACE 30 GOTO 10" is available now through Amazon or LegumeMan Books.  For more information about LegumeMan books, go to our links section (found at the top of the page).

Next Week On the Authors Speak

It's been a great week with The Authors Speak.  Our very special thanks to Mr. David Agranoff for his interview this week.  When "Hunting the Moon Tribe" hits bookshelves pick it up, I cannot recommend it enough. 

Next week is equally busy!  But first, let's take a moment to celebrate the life of Mr. William Shakespeare.  Willy passed away this day (April 23rd is an International Recognition of his life) and in his honor I'm working to outsell - if just for one day - his play "Hamlet" with my twisted version Naked Metamorphosis.  In that regard, there's a contest and some original fiction posted at my personal blog: http://zombicurious.blogspot.com/.  Plus, the book is part of a 3 for 4 promotion, so you can get 4 books for the price of 3.  What's better than that?


NEXT WEEK on The Authors Speak:

• On Tuesday 4/27 we spotlight a new voice in fiction: Jess Gulbranson
• On Wednesday 4/28 Mr. Matthew Revert, author of A Million Versions of Right contributes an article to writers about the zombie craze that's taking the nation!
• And, on Thursday 4/29, NY Times Bestselling author Bill Fitzhugh joins us for a chat about converting stories into screenplays and musicals, the hard times facing both the publishing and music indsutries, and the illegal organ trade!  Trust me, it's a very good chat.

Contest Time:
In our very first edition and interview we spoke to Mr. Jordan Krall.  In that interview, Jordan said he had recurring dreams of something in his younger years.  What did Jordan say he dreamt of as a child?  If you know the answer (or are savvy enough to go to the archives and find it in the interview) email me your answer.  In the subject line put: SQUID-FRIED JORDAN.  And in the body of the email put your answer.  Out of the correct answers, one winner will be drawn at random.  What do you win?  You'll receive a copy of Jordan's first two books: Piecemeal June and Squid Pulp Blues.

Until next week, keep reading.
Eric

#2, The Author Speaks: David Agranoff

On the surface he’s not what you’d expect from a horror nut. Or, to clarify, David Agranoff’s not what I expect from a horror writer. He’s clean cut, a weight lifter and straight edge, and a very focused vegan. (I’m not sure why I’m picturing all horror writers as ravenous meat eaters who are unshaved and snort cocaine while wearing their torn AC/DC shirt. Sue me) His writing has range; if you search Amazon for him you’ll see that he’s got an anthology, Screams from a Dying World, and a guide book, The Vegan Guide to Portland.  Besides that, David stays abreast of football, healthy lifestyles, and stays active in the Portland community. If you’re ever interested in learning everything about the man and myth, or ask for vegan selections in, or around, Portland, visit him at http://davidagranoff.blogspot.com/ (or visit our new links section up top).

 Too, David is a horror aficionado. He knows the genre, can recommend the best, and is one of the best budding new voices in the horror genre today. 
 

And, he’s a hell of a nice guy. Economic times are tough all over, and David’s addressing that head on. A fan once told him that they couldn’t buy his collection, and David says, “That’s fine. Just head to the library and request they carry it…over and over.” He’d be just as happy to have his book adorn a library shelf than in a shopping bag walking out of the Powell’s or Borders.

I had the privilege to read his upcoming release, “Hunting the Moon Tribe”. If you like vampires or Chinese mythos or coming-of-age stories you should definitely place this on your radar. And if you don’t like any of these, but you’ve always wondered about cracking a dark fantasy novel, start with this one. The horror releases in recent years have lacked heart and relied upon rehashing the same old gore. David’s release returns that thought provoking edge. I felt I was reading classic Richard Laymon.


I’m a sucker for mythology, horror, and Chinese culture (I find the Ming Dynasty fascinating – that period, at least, not so much the Mings themselves, unless we’re talking Ming the Merciless), so this read was something special. Plus, I’ve constantly bemoaned the state of vampires in culture, courtesy of “Twilight”. Thanks, Stephanie Meyer (and while I’m thanking you, Steph, if you want an interview, drop me a line). It was a pleasure to get David’s take on the state of the horror genre, the state of publishing, Chinese culture, and his latest book, “Hunting the Moon Tribe”.

Eric Mays: I’m going to jump right in and get your take on horror. It's fair to say that you're a fan of the horror genre. Are you sad at the state it's in right now? Or, is horror just going through a different evolution?


David Agranoff: No, I think there are really exciting things happening in the horror genre. It doesn’t matter if you’re talking film or prose it's happening in the underground. The reality is the underground is always going to be more vital weather you’re talking about music, film or literature.

In film the problem is that the mainstream steals all the best directors, Del Toro is making the Hobbit for five years. Cronenberg is making crime movie – amazing crime movies – but not horror. Sam Rami came back to the genre, only after three Spider-man movies. I believe Del Toro will be back but a lot of the best horror directors move on. The problem of remakes and rehash is an issue but we have lots of independent and foreign horror to keep things vital.

As far as horror fiction, yeah there is good and bad. The underground is strong, I think Cody Goodfellow (author of Perfect Union and Radiant Dawn) could single handily keep the genre vital and strong. His voice is so unique and powerful. There are a lot of authors just starting out who are producing high quality stuff. Lisa Morton, Gina Ranalli, David Jack Bell, Greg Gifune, Jeremy Robert Johnson and Fran Friel are all new writers who I think are set to shape a bold new evolution of the genre. You heard it here first!

EM: Speaking of the evolution of the genre, let’s take a look at the vampire sub-genre. "Hunting the Moon Tribe" is one of the best vampire novels that I've read. Are vampires still as scary as they used to be? Where is this subgenre of horror headed?

DA: “Twilight” didn’t exist when I started this project, and yeah the things Stephanie Meyer has done to the sub-genre are pretty unforgivable. For every action there is an equally powerful reaction. The man keeping vampires scary is Del Toro. While “Blade 2” was not his best film I thought the reapers in it were freaky as hell. More importantly the first book of his trilogy “The Strain” is off to great start and building a fantastic re-invention of the Vampire myth.

The reality is a vampire should be scary, a blood-thirty undead creature so hungry for our blood it must feed on us. The first inklings of the Moon Tribe story formed in 1994 when I walked out of “Interview with a Vampire” in the theater. I was on my way home bummed that the movie was not scary at all. Back then I wanted scary vampires, but keep in mind no monster has a perfect record of being scary.

Writers and readers should be afraid of vampire tales. An author with the right mind set will justify their use. Its zombies I don’t find scary. In good zombie movies the humans always play the scariest roles.

EM: There are some truly terrifying things in your book. Terror seems to have fled from conventional horror. What scares you? What frights do you like in your horror?


DA: Thank you. A consumer of horror fiction has got to be willing to live in the moments of the characters. You have to place yourself in their shoes. For example, imagine a character is driving and stops at a 7-11 for a drink. They walk out and find their car is gone. No monsters, nothing like that. In reality it would be a frightening situation. Your method of transportation, filled with your personal stuff, and it is gone. Did you leave your address or paperwork in the car? If you put yourself in that character’s moment then it is terrifying. Sometimes when people say certain movies are not scary I laugh about it because it’s often a failure of imagination by the reader/viewer. At the same time a good horror fiction author can put us in the character's shoes, whether the reader realizes it or not.

I love horror because, as Lovecraft said, it’s the strongest emotion. I love reading books that bring out strong emotions. I like authors who create high concept stories but still take their characters and their feelings seriously. Authors that have experience with real life horror helps. It is easier to write realistically about horror if you have lived through stuff like that. I’m not happy about it, but during my time as an activist I have seen some horrific things.

It’s not apparent from this book, but read my short story collection “Screams From a Dying World” and it’s pretty obvious I find the state of the natural world and the sustainability of life on earth to be super scary. I didn't mean to write a book with an environmental theme it just happened that way.

(Hunting the Moon Tribe will be available soon from Afterbirth Books)

EM: You decided to combine Chinese culture (from religion to politics) with a vampire story. How did you decide to unite these two?


DA: In the mid nineties I wrote ten awful pages of this story with a traditional European vampire and I couldn’t get as excited as I needed to be. In the late nineties living in Syracuse, New York I had some friends, Tom and DJ, who watched a lot of Hong Kong Wuxia Pan Kung fu movies with me. Movies like “Bride with White Hair” and the Chinese Ghost story films. I started to think of Moon Tribe as a Wuxia Pan story.

It was like being struck by lightning. When I was a kid growing up in Indiana we had horror host Sammy Terry who talked to his spider co-host on a string and showed Hammer horror movies at 11 pm on Friday nights. At 1:30 am Black Belt Theater came on and showed Shaw Brothers Kung fu movies. I could never stay up so I taped them and had hundreds of these double features on Beta Max when I was a kid. Combining these genres just made all the sense in the world.

When “Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon” became a huge hit it became a commercial possibility, so I wrote a screenplay first. The second serious draft of “Hunting the Moon Tribe” placed in several amateur screenplay competitions in 2003 and 2004, including the Nicholl Fellowship (Run by the Oscars). I got a few calls from some interested production companies but most were turned off by the mainly Chinese cast and huge effects budget it would require.

The religion and politics came from the research for the novel. It wasn’t really in the screenplay. I had a strong desire to make the novel go beyond being Chinese vampires. Once I got into reading about life in China and the mythology it really came to life in my head. I had a lot more political stuff concerning the massive outbreak of cannibalism that happened in the wake of Mao’s great leap forward. I had trouble getting one of the books I needed for research and eventually decided it was a distraction from the narrative. In my head it’s a still a part of Yuen and Elsa Wong’s back story they survived this period as children.

The reality is, the longer I did research into the landscape and mythology of China, the novel became less and less of a vampire novel to me. To me, it is a monster novel, the vampires simply are top dog beyond the dragon gate.

 EM: The Chinese culture is rich in folklore...lots of demons and fantastical creatures. In your research, did you find any folklore indicating that the Chinese believed in vampires?


DA: Yeah, the research was fun. One thing that is interesting is that the novel “Journey to the West” is basically considered Chinese mythology. I had fun paying tribute to that novel but didn’t go as far as putting the monkey king (Played by Jet Li in “Forbidden Kingdom”) in the novel. It was a popular novel but for sometime after many in China believed that after death you would actually meet Ox-head and Horse-face. Of course, if you read “Hunting the Moon Tribe” you'll get a chance to meet them.

As for the Vampires, you want to talk bizarro Chinese vampire movies like “MR. Vampire” are the weirdest fucking things you’ll ever see. Jiang Shi in Mandarin, Gœngsi in Cantonese, but basically it means stiff corpse. Chinese vampires don’t walk, they hop. Crosses don’t work, but Taoist priests control them with yellow slips of paper blessed with magic.

So basically I decided if vampires were real, there would be elements of the European and Chinese myths that were correct.

I can’t make this clear enough, the weirdest movie I have ever seen in my life is “Crazy Safari”. It is a hopping Chinese vampire movie that takes place in Africa. The one eye-browed Taoist priest conjuror the spirit of Bruce Lee and puts him into the body of the tribesman from the “Gods Must be Crazy” to fight the vampire. It has to be seen to be believed. [A link to a clip from "Crazy Safari" is at the end of this interview. It really is crazy]

EM: You employ this "circus between worlds" as a catalyst. Was this something that stemmed from your studies? (Even sensei Chen says that to understand the Chinese you need to understand their culture)



DA: As far back as 1994 I thought ancient vampires traveling as circus was an interesting way for them to travel and hunt humans without staying in one spot. They also have powers that look like magic so what better way to travel the world. The name – “circus between worlds” – did come from research. One book on Chinese mythology referred to vampires as a corpse stuck between worlds. That stuck with me.


EM: "SPOILER ALERT". In the end, there's a little left open for further visits to this "world". Any other stories there?


DA: Not much of a spoiler. Yeah, I have a sequel in mind, if there ever is a desire for one. More exciting, I think, are the prequels that are already rolling out. There is a very intense universe of back stories that I am excited to explore. Huwan-Tun (the master vampire) and Xu founder of the Dragon Slayer society (who is later swallowed whole by Mao’s Red Guard) have been at war for hundreds of years.

Shaun Lawton, editor of The Freezine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, has been doing an amazing job with his serial online zine for about year now. Publishing big names in the field and giving a voice to young talent. I approached him with the idea of not only publishing a prequel novella online but using the novella as a pilot and from time to time we will publish new chapters in an ongoing serial. This is how Wuxia Pan novels were published in china during the golden age of martial arts fiction.

The web novel is called “The Fallen Guardian's Mandate.” It is the story of how Huwan-tun and his legions rise to power as Manchus collapsed the Ming government in 1644. This was one of the darkest and most brutal times in china's history, also the setting for many amazing Kung fu movies. Think of it as X-files in ancient china. I think those who start reading it now will get an extra treat in how the story unfolds. Shuan and I plan to have more prequel stories and think reading the prequel now will make reading the novel in a month or two even more satisfying. Without a spoiler, the legacy of Xu plays a role in the novel.

I am also hoping some of my friends who are writers will pitch Shaun and I some chapters in the saga. That could be fun. Check the prequel now at the freezine: http://freezineoffantasyandsciencefiction.blogspot.com/2010/01/fallen-guardians-mandate-0.html


EM: You use martial arts throughout the book, both as a mental awareness (much like the faith of religion in other gothic vampire books) and a combat tool. You also describe, in depth, styles, moves, which aides much of the action. Are you a practitioner, or did you just have some hefty research in the field?

DA: When Quentin Tarantino was set to direct “Kill Bill” he hired the master Yuen Woo Ping (“Iron Monkey”, the “Matrix” movies) to direct the action. Woo-Ping read the script, talked to QT and realized he had the fights choreographed on the page. That’s why he is listed only as a consultant on the project. Tarantino is not a martial artist, he has just seen so many Kung fu movies he knows the language of movie martial arts. I think I speak that language. I sadly have not lasted more than a few months in any martial arts class, usually because of money.


Nope, no formal training, but yes lots of heavy research and a massive collection of Shaw Brothers movies on DVD. I treated Kung fu in this novel the way it is always treated in the Wuxia Pan movies I grew up on.


EM: Afterbirth Books is publishing this. And, sadly, Afterbirth fell prey to the economy. What's your take on the publishing industry as a whole headed further into the future?

DA: Afterbirth did amazing work. Karen [Townsend] has an amazing eye for bizarro literature that has a darker edge, some times more serious, sometimes not. I understand why Karen felt she couldn’t keep it going, but she is keeping most of the catalog in print and I am proud to be a part of the Afterbirth legacy.

Karen (and I believe Gina [Ranalli]) were some of the first people in publishing to believe in me and that is something I will never forget. I hope “Hunting the Moon Tribe” sells millions of copies. Not just for me, but because I’d like to see Karen come back to Afterbirth someday, or retire with the fortune.
The small press is exciting and vital. I don’t understand e-books, even though I know I should. I agree with Cody Goodfellow, “Digital media get off my lawn!” I hate Kindles and love the feeling of a comfortable chair and book in my hands.


EM: Who are your biggest literary influences?


DA: As a horror reader I most influenced by David Morrell, F. Paul Wilson, Clive Barker, Richard Matheson, Robert R. McCammon and most of all John Shirley. Shirley is huge influence on me. He tackles Science Fiction and Horror, blending high concepts with a deep poignant meaning. He has written unrivaled master pieces in both fields, Wetbones in horror and City Come A Walkin’ in Science Fiction. No one has mastered the genre novel as method of socio-political message like John has.

I also read a lot of old school science fiction Phillip K. Dick, John Brunner and Norman Spinrad were big influences on my cyberpunk novel “Last Warriors of the Earth.” Lets face it I would be a big fat liar if I didn't say Stephen King, I know this a funny thing for someone who is straight edge to say, but I love most of the books during his cocaine addiction era best. The Shining, ‘salem's lot and Pet Semetary are all amazing. I probably wouldn't have wanted to be writer if not for reading Barker's Books of Blood and Skeleton Crew in 8th grade.

On a personal basis my biggest influences have been my friends, Cody Goodfellow and Paul Stuart. When I still lived in San Diego, I was not ready for primetime but they both were patient with me. They gave me tons of editorial advice and I feel I owe them a lot. Paul is my most trusted reader and when I finish anything his is the opinion I most value. If Paul wasn’t so into being an engineer, he could take bizarro by storm.

EM: This is your first novel. You juggle so many things - working out, your home life, job, and keeping the Portlanders aware of vegan options. How do you juggle it all, David? What advice do you have for aspiring writers that have trouble "juggling" it all?


DA: Well I just finished my fifth novel and they are all in various stages of moving towards the hands of readers. At the same time I help run a non-profit Vegan mentoring program here in Portland, work a day job and lift weights when I can.

The people who make it as writers are the ones who are crazy for it. I would rather do it than sit on the couch and watch a movie. You have to be insane for the story otherwise you'll always have something better to do. My advice is outline your novels. I have heard some writers refer to this act as soul-less. Some feel they have to let the novel come to them as they type. That is a luxury for professional full-time writers.

I look at writing like training, you have to write every single day, but life happens some times. You may not get back to the novel for a couple weeks. That outline is crucial. The best advice I have for young writers is make time every day. David Morrell said, in a work shop I took, that he thinks you should write 2,000 words a day. And last but not least the Borderlands writers book camp. It's a weekend, costs about thousand bucks not including travel, but it's worth every single penny.


“Hunting the Moon Tribe” won’t be out until a little later this year. The Author Speaks will notify fans and followers as soon as it hits (therefore, if you’re not a follower go ahead and sign up for that, and if you’re not a fan, well, here ya go: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/The-Author-Speaks-Series/109500745753372). Until that moment, I strongly suggest that you check out David’s other books or request that your library carry them in their inventory.

If you’re interested in seeing a clip from the craziest movie David Agranoff’s ever seen – “Crazy Safari” – I’ve provided you a link right here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgwAZy0wYT4


Next week’s a big one! 4/29/2010, brings us an interview with NY Times bestselling author Bill Fitzhugh, author of Pest Control, Organ Grinders, and many other books. Besides being one of my largest inspirations (I still consider “Pest Control” to be one of the funniest books I’ve ever read), Bill’s a veritable library of musical information. If you’ve never read him you’re in for a real treat! Let's see if we can get our fanbase up there in his honor.

Until then, keep reading


Eric


CONTEST TIME: Last week we interviewed Jordan Krall, author of the bestselling western Fistful of Feet.  What did Jordan say he used to have dreams of when he was younger? E-mail your answers to ericm@witty.com and write Authors Speak Contest in the subject line. Valid 4/22 & 4/23. Any responses received after 4/23 will not be counted. Out of those emails, one lucky winner will be selected and will receive a copy of Jordan's first novella, "Piecemeal June" courtesy of "The Author Speaks"

Coming Soon, from "The Author Speaks"

How's this for goodies?  We've taken the world by storm in our first week, and we get to delve deeper into the mix.  Coming soon (insert dramatic, but cheesy, drum roll here)...

We'll be launching a series of articles for writers.  These will be from industry insiders and will cover everything from publishing, to cover art, to flash fiction, and back!  Keep your eyes open on this feature.  All articles (like interviews) will be archived and gotten to by using the menu above.

Further, we'll spotlight a new voice each week.  But wait, you may be saying, aren't you already interviewing authors?  Well, as an author, isn't it cool when you get that first interview and have something to add to that portfolio?  This is the chance to introduce an author's first book to a whole new audience AND allow them a chance to connect with that audience.  Keep your eyes peeled.

That's three featured pieces per week, kids.  Three.  And we're just scratching the surface.  I'm swearing on all that is holy to keep this thing running.  We will not fade into the night.  But, we need to insure that there is an audience.  If you all provide the audience, we'll keep providing the content.  That's a promise you can take to the bank.

Join us tomorrow for our interview with author David Agranoff.

Until then, keep reading!
Eric

#1, The Author Speaks: Jordan Krall

There are authors that are capable of juggling so many different styles and coming out of each smelling like roses and there are some authors that just plain suck at it. Elmore Leonard writes westerns and hard crime mysteries, both in a seemingly appropriate voice. He’s even dabbled in merging those two somewhere in between (“The Hot Kid” is a good example of this). For a long time Stephen King has ventured from hard horror into the dramatic and back. Some of the failures, however, would be James Patterson and Michael Crichton (sorry, Mikie, I know you’re flying with angels [or suspended in a cloud of nanobites] but your pirate novel sucked).

When I first read Piecemeal June by Jordan Krall, I thought I’d found an author with a truly unique voice. I’d no idea how unique. “Piecemeal June” is a tale that dabbles in a macabre world where a man, living above an adult novelty store, assembles a living, breathing sex doll. The concept, I felt, was a little reaching and the story is definitely in the crags and caverns of bizarro. But, the concept alone was what interested me; the story and the writing are what captured me.

Shortly after, Squid Pulp Blues was released by Eraserhead Press. I’m famously pro-novel, anti-novella, so I was elated to see that “Squid Pulp Blues” was a full length collection (3-novellas all set in the same seedy world). Upon examining the cover of the new Jordan Krall book – that sinister looking squid-man holding a gun and trying to pass itself off as Bogie in a Raymond Chandler story – I was salivating at enjoying another horror tale. What I got was a gritty crime tale (ala Elmore Leonard) and I was not in the least disappointed. In fact, I was blown away and thought that this book was infinitely better than “Piecemeal June”.

In Fistful of Feet, Jordan tackles the Spaghetti Western genre and, once again, rises to the challenge. His knowledge of the styles he chooses to write in are well learned. Jordan Krall is also an amazing author to read, as you can truly see the evolution of a literary talent. Now, he's working to get "Fistful of Feet" to be the #1 bestselling western of all time!

I’ve spoken to Jordan on a few occasions and there’s always a consistency: Jordan will talk about a wide variety of subjects that are near and dear to him. There aren’t too many authors who can shift gears from Will Smith the “actor” to flying underwear and tie it all into the mythology of the Karate Kid with ease.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Jordan Krall this week, in celebration of his “Bizarro Spaghetti Dinner” on April 16th, 2010. Find out more about that here: http://www.filmynoir.com/

Eric Mays: Jordan, I'm going to get to the important questions first and foremost. You seem to have a thing for squid - not just in "Squid Pulp Blues", but also in "Fistful of Feet" and "Piecemeal June". Why squid? Do you enjoy fresh calamari or loathe it? Did you have a childhood experience? Is it part of your sideshow act?

Jordan Krall: I’m not sure where it started. The first appearance of my obsession with squid is in my novella KING SCRATCH which was written before any of my other books but will be published this summer. I actually dislike seafood and have a strong aversion to even the smell of it. But it’s a love/hate thing because I’m fascinated by sea life especially squid and spider crabs. And in a way, I want to like seafood… if that makes any sense at all.

EM: "Fistful of Feet" pays homage to the Spaghetti Western and Giallo films. What compelled you to write a novel playing by the rules of these genres?

JK: With Fistful of Feet, I played by the rules but I wasn’t too conscious of it. A lot of it just came naturally. Anyone who knows me even a little bit knows I love movies and those are two of my favorite genres. There’s just something about the Spaghetti Western that’s special. I think part of the reason why I’m attracted to them is because it reminds me of my grandfather. Giallo movies are just so cool, many being sleazy murder mysteries. That’s what a lot of the American slasher movies are missing: a good mystery. But it’s more than just that. Just think of the cool seventies music, the black leather gloves, the razors, the red herrings.

EM: Was it hard incorporating these two together?

JK: Not really because in my mind, those seem so compatible. It also helps that my favorite films from those genres came from the same country and approximate time period. All of those genre devices are already in my head anyway. You don’t even want to know how often I think about killers in black gloves.

EM: Your main character is Calamaro, from New Jersey. Stephen King once said that he pictured his gunslinger, Roland, as Clint Eastwood. Who were you channeling when you designed Calamaro?

JK: I actually didn’t picture him as any real person. I believe that if I did that, I might have him start acting like that actor instead of my own creation. I did pattern some of his personality after various tough-guy characters but it wasn’t a major aspect of my writing Calamaro. He was his own man, so to speak.
EM: I know that you're a bit of a film buff. When most people think of Spaghetti Westerns they gravitate towards early Clint Eastwood and Sergio Leone's work. What are some of your favorites within the genre? I'm assuming "Django" is there.

JK: Oh yeah, the Sergio Leone films and “Django” are obvious favorites. Other than that: The Big Gundown, Sabata, the Sartana films, Cut Throats Nine, Death Rides a Horse, and Companeros.

EM: What are some of your other influential favorite films?
JK: How long do you want this interview to be? (haha!) Let’s see. Other than Spaghetti Westerns and Giallo….Halloween III: Season of the Witch, Lost Highway, scores of Charles Bronson movies but especially Mr. Majestyk, Pulp Fiction, Suspiria, Road to Perdition, Hardcore (with George C. Scott), Rolling Thunder, Blast of Silence, The Asphalt Jungle, Killer’s Kiss, Flaming Creatures, Messiah of Evil, Eraserhead, Hitchcock films, Last Man on Earth, Gleaming the Cube, The Holy Mountain, Videodrome, lots of film noir flicks, films by Andy Milligan, and every single film starring Ginger Rogers.

EM: I’ve heard that you're a fan of "Karate Kid". Which is the best of the movies?
JK: “Karate Kid Part 3”. Don’t scoff. It’s an over-the-top film that is bound to be a cult classic in twenty or thirty years. It pretty much has the same formula as the first but it trumps it by the brilliant performance by Thomas Ian Griffith as Terry Silver, president of Dynatox Industries. Griffith is simply awesome in that role. The dialogue is quotable beyond belief (much of it coming from Griffith’s character). And let’s be clear: there are only THREE Karate Kid movies and they all star Ralph Macchio.
EM: Are you looking forward to the reboot?

JK: In the words of “actor” Will Smith: “Aww, hell no”. Will Smith is pissing on the grave of Pat Morita. What a self-indulgent piece of masturbatory “cinema” it is. Casting your own son as the underdog who triumphs over bullies? Transparent beyond belief, trying to make his son an icon like Daniel Laruso. Give me a break. Don’t destroy a fucking classic in the process of trying to make your son successful. I’ll probably see the movie, though, tomatoes in hand. OJK: f course, I’m not above swallowing my words. If it’s good, I’ll say so. However, it will never compare to the original KK trilogy. (again: note I said TRILOGY).

EM: Getting back to your writing…do you think "Fistful of Feet" will serve one day as a cautionary tale against unprotected sex and sexually transmitted diseases?

JK: I thought of it more as a “How-To” guide.

EM: Does the western genre still garner the interest it used to?

JK: No. If you just look at the late 1950s through the late 1960s, Westerns were more popular than vampire novels are now. There were dozens of western shows, hundreds of movies (not even counting the ones coming out of Europe), and novels. Now, there are western movies here and there but not the deluge that appeared decades ago. Personally, I love old westerns. But the last good western was “Open Range” with Kevin Costner. Not as good as Eastwood’s “Unforgiven”, but it was definitely a breath of fresh air.

EM: “Piecemeal June” felt a little more horror than the last two books you've written. Are you a fan of the horror genre?

JK: Yeah, there was a good chance that I would’ve been a horror novelist if I didn’t decide to indulge my interest in weird/bizarro fiction. Horror has always been the genre I gravitate to ever since I was a kid.
EM: Any plans on returning to the genre of "things bumping (and grinding) in the night"?

JK: Yeah, I’m actually in the process of writing two hardcore horror novellas but they will definitely have a bizarro slant to them.
EM: You've mentioned before that you're a pretty big fan of Elmore Leonard. I can definitely see some influences of that in both "Squid Pulp Blues" and "Fistful of Feet". So, Elmore the western writer or Elmore the crime hound?

JK: Leonard’s crime fiction is my favorite. His westerns are good but you can tell he’s more comfortable writing about modern scumbags.
EM: Boxers or briefs, Jordan? And yes, you're welcome for the non-sequitar.

JK: Briefs. Though for a long time I wore boxers. But before that, briefs. And when I was in fourth grade I had a dream about flying underwear.

EM: In the back of "Fistful of Feet" you reference your wife, your stepdaughter, and your son. It's got to be crazy juggling writing, your day job, and the family life! How do you do it?

JK: It’s difficult and I’m sure I don’t write as much as my peers. Even though I wish to be successful in my writing, I have no intention of neglecting my family in order to do it especially my son who’s only 21 months old. I want to spend as much time with him as I can. That’s my number one priority. Everything else, including writing, comes after.

EM: What advice would you offer to aspiring writers who are caught in the tendrils of everyday life?

JK: Don’t let life overwhelm you… just use some of that craziness for inspiration. Don’t be lazy. Don’t try to romanticize writing and wait for so-called inspiration. Please allow me to give you a real world example of what I mean. I was talking to this aspiring writer a few years ago. He was able to write full time because his girlfriend made a lot of money. Sounds like a great set-up, right? No, because he refused to make himself write everyday. He said he couldn’t push himself and that he needed to wait to be inspired. So what did he do instead? He played video games. That’s a fucking waste. I’d love to not be able to work a day job so I could write. But there it is, a guy like that waiting around for some fucking act of god to make him a good writer. And what is he doing now? Nothing. He’s no further into his writing “career” than he was two years ago. Anyway, getting past that rant, more advice: write whenever you can even if it’s just a fragment of a story. Read a lot and not only in the genre you want to write in. Look at the authors you like to read and find out WHY you like to read them. Then try to mimic some of it. And lastly, don’t just write to entertain yourself. You have to think of the reader, too. I don’t care how much fun you had writing it, if it bores the reader, they’re going to chuck it in the trash and then never buy a book from you again.

EM: What's up next for you? More squid?

JK: Ha, yeah. Squid-spaghetti tacos all around. But as for books...I got KING SCRATCH coming out from Black Rainbows Press. Also, a nonfiction book about movies coming from Bucket O’ Guts Press. And then TENTACLE DEATH TRIP will be published by Eraserhead Press this fall. This book will be fucking awesome. It’s Death Race 2000 meets the Cthulhu mythos … grindhouse style.

EM: I heard that you’re throwing a spaghetti dinner online? What? I’ve heard that this “Bizarro Spaghetti Dinner” is a festival all about you! Isn’t this just the foundation for a cult?

JK: Being a cult leader has always been my dream and what better way to lure people in than with spaghetti? Actually, it was inspired by author Kevin Shamel's similar promotion for his book Rotten Little Animals. Basically it's a day to get the word out on my novel “Fistful of Feet” and celebrate it's Spaghetti Western-ess.

EM: And this “event” is taking place on April 16th, right? What do you want from people on April 16th? Why?

JK: I'd like people to spread the word on “Fistful of Feet”. Tell your friends on Facebook, Twitter, My Space, etc. If you haven't bought the book, buy it April 16th so my Amazon ranking can go up. If it does, Amazon will see what a hot book it is and it'll take over. If it takes over, the rest of the bizarro authors will get exposure as well. If you already have Fistful of Feet, consider buying a copy for a friend or for your local library. I appreciate any and all help. I never forget a good deed. The reason why I'm doing this is to not only sell books (which will help pay bills...I'm not a rich man, you know) but also to spread bizarro. The success of one bizarro author can mean success for many others. Thanks to everyone in advance! And thank you for the interview, Eric!
EM: Thanks, Jordan!

Jordan Krall’s books are certainly worth a peek. You may look at one of them and see it priced at around $10, but I’ll tell you to pick them all up. Why? Well, as mentioned, Jordan writes in many different styles AND if you pick up all three you’ll get free shipping on all the books. And, really, what’s better than free?
Next week’s spotlight will shift, slightly, to the horror genre and Mr. David Agranoff. David’s the author of the upcoming horror novel “Hunting the Moon Tribe”. We’ll discuss the true nature of fear, examine Maoist ideals, and try to figure out why everyone is Kung fu fighting. Be back here for the interview on 4/22/2010.

If you’re an author that would like to be a part of the Thursday Author Speaks Series, please email ericm@witty.com. Until then, feel free to pick up a copy of my book, Naked Metamorphosis.